


this awkward feeling, is begging for you to stay

by dabblingDilettante



Series: they say you and me are tautology [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Blind Date, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, Modern Era, Platonic Relationships, Trans Character, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22812832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dabblingDilettante/pseuds/dabblingDilettante
Summary: Dorothea is in love with two women - neither of whom seem to love her.Edelgard is in love with a longtime rival - but she doesn't even seem to know she does.Sylvain and Hilda know too many people - and have all the right connections.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault & Claude von Riegan, Dorothea Arnault & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Edelgard von Hresvelg/Claude von Riegan
Series: they say you and me are tautology [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728787
Comments: 5
Kudos: 78





	this awkward feeling, is begging for you to stay

**Author's Note:**

> [big bluh] I wrote this for me, because it's MY BIRTHDAY!!!! yaaay... anyway I love dorothea being happy and I love EdelClaude lol so uh, here it i s boys. this one's romantic, and also has all my favorite bad romcom tropes and also big things that make me a big gay. anyway. sorry. this is tagged trans character because i just mention claude doing hrt because im a big trans gay baby. cool. okay.
> 
> this ended up Way Longer than I intended haha.
> 
> song of the fic: The English Summer - The Wombats (but i'm DRIPPING OVER YOUR EVERY SINGLE MOVE)

Dorothea was talented in many ways. Most of those had come with hard work and determination and more sacrifice than she cared to admit, certainly, but her talent was nothing to be ignored. Her voice was incredible and would be for years to come, her magic was nothing to sneeze at, and she was certainly a strong leader when the times came calling.

Unfortunately, she was good in love.

Not her love life, of course. Dorothea’s personal love life was a disaster that typically led her into uncomfortable situations with men she realized she had no interest in or her general inability to let anyone be truly close to her. In all likelihood, she would never find anyone that loved her for her, and all the women she loved had people who were far better than her.

She knew this because she could tell that her friends were in love long before they realized themselves. First, this had happened with Caspar. Then with Hubert and Bernadetta, Ferdinand, Ingrid, and so on. Only Petra had managed to keep her romantic interest hidden. Her and Edelgard. Edelgard was a strange case because she did fall in love with many people. Dorothea never told her, but the woman had probably fallen in love with every woman she had ever met to some degree. In Dorothea’s mind, the main thing that held her back was the fact that she truly thought she was an emotionless machine capable of doing anything.

This was desperately untrue, as Dorothea could testify to the many, many times Edelgard had been stricken silent by a woman being kind to her, or how many times Edelgard had gone out of her way to help a girl she had a crush on. “Women need to be willing to support one another,” Edelgard would tell her. “We all need to look out for each other. I am merely trying to live up to my own creed.”

“Yeah, her creed of being gay,” Dorothea said, languishing across a table.

“You could just ask her out,” Sylvain said.

Dorothea peered up at him as he scrolled through his phone instead of drinking his overpriced, over-engineered rich boy coffee. At least she had the common decency to order a basic coffee when she agreed to his invites rather than making the barista suffer through his laundry list of wants. Also, it was the only thing she could excuse herself for buying, even though even that amount of money made her wallet anxious.

Being good at singing didn’t mean anything since she’d decided being a child star grown up wasn’t for her.

“Anyway,” Dorothea said, ignoring Sylvain's comment. “To what do I owe your kind invitation today.”

Sylvain sipped his drink without looking at her. “You've got a problem and you won't deal with it. That's why I asked and that's why you accepted.” When he glanced up, she rolled her eyes, turning away from the smug grin beginning to form on his face. “I'm serious. You're hot, talented, all your friends love you. Best yet, you're desperately in love with her, too.”

“Sylvain,” she muttered.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, always the bridesmaid never the bride, you love that movie.”

“Excuse me,” Dorothea interrupted. “Just because I brought that over for our movie night does not mean I -”

“It is so you,” Sylvain said.

“Alright. No more movie nights.”

Aw, come on,” he whined. “None of my other friends agree to watch romcoms with me. You're all I got in the world.”

“Why not ask Ashe or Dimitri. Or Annette? Does Mercedes have no interest?”

Sylvain took the time to put down his phone and his drink, sitting up fully with his hands splayed in the air, moving animatedly as he spoke. “Annette falls asleep to anything that lacks a musical number. Mercedes? The last time I asked her to bring over a movie, she brought over a slasher flick and giggled the entire way through. Ashe and Dimitri start crying the moment something bad happens in the flick and it becomes way too awkward to keep watching. Please understand, I am being serious when I say I do not want to ruin our friendship.”

That was something she appreciated about Sylvain. He could be rude and unpleasant, but Dorothea knew the right buttons to press to see the blatant favoritism he held for the people in his life. She shook her head. “I understand. But … Sylvain, I don't think Edelgard likes me.”

“You're kidding me,” he said. “You are fucking shitting me right now, if you think I believe you when you say that.”

“...anymore, anyway,” she sighed. “I'm the first to admit when I'm missed the boat.”

“So she's fallen for Petra, or something? I hate to tell you, but Miss Hresvelg isn't going to have much luck there. Petra's already over the moon for someone.”

“You know who she likes?” Dorothea asked, somewhat incredulous. Just the thought that Sylvain could beat her out on the discovery felt like a loss.

“She called me about it one day,” he shrugged. “I'm just in the right place at the right time.”

“Ugh. Fine. But no, it's not Petra. Though I would understand if it was. I always thought Petra didn't have time for romance, though...” Dorothea stared at the old ring Petra had given her for her birthday. It was strange to think anything could pull them apart. Sadder to think it would be romance. “I know I joke a lot about Edie being gay, but we all know she's bi. And … she's fallen for a guy.”

“No way,” Sylvain mouthed more than saying aloud.

“Honestly, I felt the same way. But then I realized who it was.”

“What, you're saying there's a guy in the world you think would be deserving of your dear Edelgard?”

Dorothea pressed her lips together. “She doesn't even know it yet. But I've known her so long. She has these tells. She gets so incensed about spending time with a person. She becomes forward and brunt about her thoughts and feelings and opinions toward them, even at the risk of making them hate her. She … she's so silly, honestly.” Dorothea bit the inside of her cheek, thinking about when Edelgard used to give her that attention. The memory of the warmth it gave her reminded her she had once fooled herself into believing she could be happy with simply living like that, just offstage to the greats. But that light was no longer hers.

“Are you going to spit out who Edelgard likes or not?” Sylvain asked. “Hilda will absolutely flip when she hears.”

That made Dorothea laugh. “She will. It's Claude.”

“You're kidding.”

–

Edelgard and Claude had met over a school project in their senior year of their undergraduate careers. Of course, they had met on opposite sides of the field, and ended up head to head in the final project. Edelgard had only become more and more incensed about properly defeating the Riegan upstart, as was necessary for her position, only for the two of them to be announced at a tie for not only first place, but also top of the class.

When the two of them were told they had to give a single speech, written and performed together, Edelgard had bristled at the thought. When Dorothea had nowhere to go, Edelgard had welcomed her into her home, and then she had spoken at length about how to convince Claude to resign, how to get him to allow her full control over the speech, how to find a way to get her message to the rotten system across without having to soften her words or angle.

And then, at the procession, Claude had his friends help to shut off all the electricity and pulled out a megaphone to give an impassioned speech of his own. When the security guards came to pull him off stage, Edelgard fought with him tooth and nail until the two were both maced and temporarily taken to a detention center before their mutually rich families attempted to bail them out. Edelgard graciously and bitterly accepted. Claude refused and sat through courtroom hearings with his lawyer, until the two of them won his case and got his record expunged.

Since that moment, Dorothea thought Edelgard had been inadvertently falling in love.

“Sounds more like a romantic drama than a comedy to me,” Hilda said. “Sylvain, you sent me mixed messages! I knew I could only trust you, Dorothea.”

“But I looked up the videos of their graduation,” Sylvain said. He slid closer to her and pulled his phone sideways. On the screen, Edelgard was being lifted up by a man twice her size and thrashing like an angry cat, before she slammed down her feet and threw the man over her back. Claude was blurry in the background, but his laugh – bright like a bell and just as delighted – was loud enough to make it into the recording, even as the crowd whooped and cheered. “If this isn't funny to you, you don't have a bone in your body.”

“Ew,” Hilda wrinkled her nose. “Gross.”

“I didn't come here to tell you a story, Hilda,” Dorothea interrupted, massaging the sides of her head. “I came for … help.”

“Oh, don't sound so unwilling. I know, I'm the best person around to ask,” Hilda said, pressing a hand daintily to her chest. “I know Claude like I know my own dumb brother, and I hate it.”

“I thought he was your best friend,” Sylvain said.

“Yeah. We all make sacrifices,” Hilda answered. “But what do you have to offer me?”

“It's not like I'm trying to set up a blind date, Hil. I just wanted to see if you could give my number to Claude. And if you could make up some kind of excuse for why he should answer my texts, or something. It's not hard,” Dorothea said.

“Well, he already has Edelgard's number,” Hilda said blithely.

“What.” Sylvain and Dorothea's voiced melted into one at the thought.

“Yeah, it was like. Apparently there was some deal with Edelgard's new start up and one of the charities he set up? And they went for some dinner meeting and honestly, he's always showing me the dumb jokes he's trying to make. You know she acts like she can't tell he's making jokes? But I know she totally knows. Edelgard acts a big game, but I know her kind of person.”

“Yeah, because you dated her for a month,” Dorothea muttered.

“Ew, was it really that long?” Hilda said.

“So,” Sylvain slid in to take the discussion away from the no man's land that was Hilda and Edelgard's dating history. “He's already got her number. They already talk too much. Edelgard's acts like a robot, so she'll never ask him out, even if she realizes. Then what's the plan.”

Dorothea chewed on her lip. “I wanted to text Claude and … build up a camaraderie. I'm good at that. I don't think he's the kind of guy to take it the wrong way, either, so I thought it was a safe idea to start with. Once I did that, I was going to insinuate something about whether he was dating anyone or not, and...” Normally, she was better at this. But when it was Edelgard – the thought of giving her up to anyone made her seethe. Just a little. Even though she liked Claude. Even though she thought it would be a good excuse for Edelgard to actually be happy for once.

“He's not dating anyone, silly,” Hilda said. “If that's what you wanted to know, I have plenty of favors I can loan out.”

“So what's an eligible bachelor like him not dating anyone?” Sylvain make a joke of a smile, as though to insinuate he'd pick up the opportunity, but one thing he'd grown over the years of his friendship with Dorothea was the ability to read the room. “Hilda, I thought you were looking for a hot rich boyfriend so you could run away to another country with one of your many girlfriends.”

“I have one girlfriend and thankfully, I'm hot and rich enough for the both of us, thanks,” Hilda answered. “Claude's single because he sucks. He could probably get anyone to date him, because a lot of people at at least a little in love with him, but he doesn't let anyone get close. Gee, I wonder who that sounds like.”

“I didn't expect that you'd be willing to help,” Dorothea said, slow and more suspicious than she intended. It was terrible, because she did like Hilda. It was just that Hilda was also rich and kind of the worst at the same time as being likable. “What's in it for you.”

“I want Claude to … I dunno. Be happy. I want him to try giving dating a chance, Dorothea. I always thought it was fun. At first, I messed around with him a lot, but … Claude's thought about a lot of difficult stuff way more than I have and he has more problems going on in his head than I know he wants to tell me.” Hilda shrugged. “He's my friend. As long as Edelgard doesn't hurt him and as long as she really does like him, I don't mind them going out. I wouldn't mind them dating! I think it'd be fun to see Claude having fun.”

“Oh,” Dorothea said, quiet. “...that's actually rather selfless of you.”

“Nope! Completely selfish. If it goes well, he won't have an excuse to ignore my double date ideas anymore. I've been trying to set him up, for like, forever, and Marianne is always less stressed in public when he's around.”

Dorothea laughs, some of the burden withdrawn from her heart. She couldn't be so easily selfish or selfless, but the thought was nice. “Then all I wanted to do was propose a blind date. I have a friend and you have a friend. You could even bring the two of them to a blind double date with you.”

Hilda and Sylvain looked at each other as if communing some thought between them, before Sylvain said, “It'd probably be a better idea for it to be a mutual blind double date instead. But Hilda isn't single, and Edelgard can't stand being near me. But if you went, she'd have a hard time saying no.”

Dorothea frowned. “Who do you propose to be the fourth member to the blind date, then?”

Sylvain grinned and the sight unsettled Dorothea. He said, “It isn't much of a blind date if I tell you who you're going with ahead of time. I've got the perfect person. A beautiful girl, very much single, and someone who would be very happy to go on a date with a gorgeous lady like yourself.”

“Sylvain, I can't -”

He cut Dorothea off. “Why don't you have fun too, miss bridesmaid.”

Though she rolled her eyes, the three of them agreed to the plan and moved out. He wasn't wrong. It would be nice to have something to take her mind off Edelgard.

–

“I can't believe you're dragging me to this,” Edelgard muttered. “It's not like you to be so nervous about a date, even if it is a blind one. I'm sure you have more appropriate friend than me to bring along.”

“Yes, I'm sure Hubie would be just fabulous to bring. He could threaten to curse my date to a lifetime of terrible sleep.” Dorothea watched Edelgard's face for the hint of a smile before she began to laugh herself. “I want you to have some fun, Edie. You never get out for anything but work meetings. I thought the fresh faces would do you some good, too.”

“I suppose you're right,” Edelgard sighed. Despite her protests, she still wore one of her best suits. She was doled up in dark crimson, with a white button-up beneath, three buttons down but no further. Only so far to show off her collar bones and the sleek strength of her shoulders. Even if it was something she didn't care about, Edelgard still dressed to impress. “I can't say I'll stay long, though. I may have plans afterward.”

“Oh, can't you shove your plans away just this once?” Dorothea wrapped an arm around Edelgard's shoulder and felt her cool skin against her face. It was still so nice, even when distancing her heart in careful degrees.

“I can't just play around,” Edelgard said. “I don't have the Hresvelg name to support me anymore. If I'm building a meaningful business, I can't afford to take breaks.”

“You know how the person who started your family's company got their start, Edie? By luck. Not by hard work. By luck and exploitation and theft.” Dorothea resisted the urge to ruffle Edelgard's head. “You can work hard, but I want you to know. I like you too much to see you ruin your wonderful everything on such a fool's game. So please. Have fun with me tonight?”

Edelgard chuckled. “I suppose I cannot so easily deny you, Dorothea. I can tell Claude to postpone our meeting.”

Dorothea cursed internally. “Oh? You had planned to meet him after this?”

“Yes, it seemed he had a prior engagement for this time as well.”

Quickening her pace, Dorothea pulled Edelgard into the restaurant and took up the planned reservation. It had been made in Sylvain's name, which did make Edelgard raise an eyebrow, but thankfully she made no comment. If nothing else, he had picked up the bill for the beautiful and grotesquely expensive restaurant they had finally selected.

“I assume the other two also know Gautier,” Edelgard said after they were seated. “I trust that they are not his type of person?”

“I hope not,” Dorothea muttered. She pulled herself together into a bright smile. “I'm not sure. Regardless, I know where Sylvain lives.”

As Edelgard chuckled at the joking death threat, Dorothea watched Sylvain walk in with two beautiful guests. One was Claude – and Dorothea realized, she hadn't seen him since they had graduated. He'd grown into himself well, since college, likely in part thanks to the HRT he'd finally had the chance to start. Well-kept facial hair, gently messy but expertly gelled hair, a deep green suit jacket with a golden undershirt, and an expert touch of eyeliner to make his bright green eyes pop out. He blatantly put a considerable amount of work into looking as casual as humanly possible.

If it were possible to hate him, Dorothea thought she would. But she knew him just well enough that she couldn't bring herself to do so.

As Dorothea's eyes drifted to her blind date, her heart skipped a beat. Dark hair that shone with an impossible shade of red and purple, braided elegant and detailed around her head – a suit jacket cut short to make the high waisted skirt she wore clear in view – and of all things, Petra was wearing the black tights with little cat ears at the knee. The ones Dorothea had given her when she couldn't find anything else in budget. The ones Petra had thanked her profusely for, despite the fact that she never wore tights. The ones Dorothea had bought when almost black-out drunk because the moment she saw them, she started crying at the mere thought of Petra wearing them.

Dorothea jolted up from the table without pushing back her chair and slammed her knees into the bottom. As she crouched back down, eyes burning from the pain, Edelgard's attention was drawn away from their dates walking over. Dorothea's face burned between embarrassment and fear and absolute fury at the idea that Sylvain would do this to her, after all the years they had been friends, and -

“You look so very beautiful this night, Dorothea.”

Petra's voice was soft. Kind. Warm and good and Dorothea lifted her forehead from the table to look at yet another woman she was in love with, another woman she knew did not have time for her.

“I did not know Sylvain meant my date would be you,” Petra said. “I suppose that is what a blind date is supposed to be. I joked it meant to wear a blindfold and to attempt to shoot an arrow at who will date you, but I think he took me seriously at first. I had to explain I understood.”

Though the story is basic, Dorothea still blubbers into an ecstatic laughter, just because it is Petra telling it, and because she can envision it in her head, the sight of Sylvain thinking he needed to show her a dozen stupid movies to make her understand when Petra had already spent so much time around Dorothea. Dorothea, master of dumb romantic ideas that never worked.

“I didn't realize, either,” Dorothea responded, still somewhat breathless. “When he said he had a good idea for a blind date, I thought he meant someone he met while golfing.” She smiled, and wished it was as radiant as the one Petra gave her. “I'm glad it was you instead.”

“I thought we were meeting after this, El,” Claude said, once Petra and Dorothea had finished their awkward greetings. “You just couldn't wait.”

Dorothea finally looked back to Edelgard, and her heart sunk as she saw the wide-eyed stare and small frown beginning to form on her friend's face. “You're here for a blind date?”

Claude shrugged. “Hilda insisted I try going out with someone. She had a friend of hers pick me up, fabulous chauffeur. Probably the richest I've ever met. I met up with Petra here in the car, but he was so kind to inform me that I'd be paired with a woman in red.” He chuckled. “Guess I should have figured it'd be you.”

Edelgard stared from Claude, to Petra, and finally, to Dorothea. “I … can't mix business and pleasure in this way. I apologize. If you'll excuse me.”

“Edie, wait.” Dorothea grabbed her arm before she could stand. “I'm sorry. This was my plan. I … I wanted you to meet Claude on proper terms.”

Edelgard shook her head in some confusion. “I already do. We are business partners. He may contact me on my phone when he wishes, and we had already set up a meeting after this. I mean no offense, Claude, because I know you are good company to keep. But this runs afoul of ethics considerations that would be foolish for me to play with.”

In the background, Claude said, “None taken.” Dorothea glanced at him, narrowing her eyes, trying to catch some hint of sincerity or disappointment in the smile that never reached his eyes. He seemed to notice. “Sorry, Dorothea. I can't really argue with El on that. She's right. It's too bad, because I thought it might be nice. Three wonderful and smart women to talk to would have been a fun dinner.”

Before Dorothea could pull together another idea, Edelgard had slipped her arm free and pulled her jacket back on. “If you'll excuse me. Just because I have to take a leave does not mean the rest of you do.” As she walked away, she nodded at Claude. “I would inform you that you clean up well, but I feel you already know that.”

He smiled at her, almost coy. “I'd say the same to you. Why do you never wear that suit to our meetings?”

Edelgard chuckled. “I will see you at my office tonight, if you still wish to attend.”

“You know me,” he answered, waving a hand back at her. “I can't say no to a woman who would throw a cop for me.”

Dorothea stared at Claude as Edelgard left and hissed, “You aren't even going to escort her out?”

At that, he turned, surprise coloring his face. “She'd probably bite my hand.”

Dorothea raised her hands, shaking with some frustration. “You. Both of you are terrible.”

“Can't say I know what you mean,” Claude said with a chuckle.

“I believe what she is saying is that the two of you were courting each other,” Petra stepped in. “Flirting is not usually a business technique.”

“Petra, thank you,” Dorothea sighed. “I appreciate you. So much. I cannot begin to say how much I appreciate having someone in my life who can look at reality for what it is and see that.” She pointed at Claude. “You like Edelgard.” And then she pointed out the door. “And she adores _you_.”

“I flirt pretty regularly,” Claude said with a shrug. “Ask Hilda.”

“No you don't!” Dorothea said, louder than she meant. The other patrons of the restaurant turned to stare and she shut herself down. “Alright. The double date may be ruined, but if the two of you still want dinner on Sylvain's dime, please feel free to join me.” She narrowed her eyes at Claude. “But I want to reiterate. You don't regularly flirt. You only do it when you're uncomfortable or when you really mean it. I went to college with you _and_ that was Hilda's expert opinion. I know that you like to lie or skirt around the truth when you are uncomfortable. I am intimately familiar with that feeling. But I'm a little tired of seeing one of my best friends constantly ignoring chances for good relationships. Especially now that I've seen how the two of you act together.”

The smile melted off Claude's face. While Petra took a seat more enthusiastically, taking the chair Edelgard had occupied to sit beside Dorothea, Claude slowly took a seat opposite her. He stayed silent as he read through the menu, as Petra drew Dorothea out of her innate frustration to convince her to order a good fourth of the menu.

“You can get a to-go box,” Petra said excitedly. “These are very useful. I have bought many reusable versions for my home. I have been watching week-long meal preparation videos on Youtube. If you would like, I can bring you one of my dishes. Most of it is Filipino, but I am being honest to say it is all delicious.”

“I would love to try anything you made, Petra.” Dorothea couldn't stop herself from sounding at least somewhat in love every time she spoke to her. In addition to Petra being an excellent wildlife and environmental advocate, she was also incredible at everything else she tried. When Dorothea had first met her, Petra was still learning English, as her fifth language. Dorothea barely knew the one. “I didn't realize you'd moved back to the city, I'm so sorry.”

“No, it is my mistake,” Petra answered. “My fault,” she said. Then she quieted for a moment. “I did not want to go when Sylvain offered me this, but he asked me to trust him. I know you would call that a foolish thing to do. Now, however, I am glad I did.”

“Should I get the oysters or the tuna,” Claude interrupted, a little loud.

Petra started to decide for him, but Dorothea put a hand over hers and winked. “You should get both. You're not paying.”

“You're not wrong,” Claude said with a nod.

The rest of the dinner went by almost well. Claude let Dorothea talk and listen to Petra without much input, and Petra was excited to share her last year traveling with both of them. It was nice, for once. Dorothea felt bad for thinking it, but she was almost glad Edelgard had not stayed. If she had, Dorothea wouldn't have been able to dote and focus on Petra as much as she could here. As the night came, so did the check, and Dorothea happily had the horrifying bill marked to Sylvain's card. In tow came the man himself, not batting an eye at the number on paper.

“Shall I return the three of you to your humble abodes,” Sylvain said with an overacted bow.

“Where did Hilda ever find you,” Claude chuckled.

Sylvain winked. “Craigslist.”

“No, they met because Sylvain wanted to not do his own homework and Hilda wanted someone to do hers,” Dorothea sighed. “Petra, I know it's a long walk for you if you take the subway, so if you want to take his offer, please do. We can meet up again soon. I promise.”

Petra smiled and gently kissed her on the cheek, making Dorothea's face burn. “Please make sure of it.” She waved and climbed into the car, but when Sylvain motioned for Claude to follow, he shook his head.

“I've got a meeting not far from here. I'm good to walk,” Claude said. He hooked an arm through Dorothea's. “Would you be willing to escort me?”

“Of course,” she said, carefully. She watched Sylvain mouth a word of luck, though they both knew no such thing existed, before climbing into his car and driving away. The two of them waited for it to turn away before talking. Dorothea said, “Hilda told you, didn't she.”

“Yeah,” Claude said. “I actually refused at first.”

Dorothea nodded. As the two walked, streetlamps began to flicker on in the dusk sky. As they took certain turns, she recognized it as the path to Edelgard's office, one part of a floor of a general multi-level skyscraper.

“I should have figured it was strange you weren't surprised,” Dorothea said. “Even someone who is as good at hiding what you feel as you would have difficulty hiding that kind of shock.”

“Yeah,” he said with a chuckle. “That's why it was so funny to see your face when Petra walked over.”

Dorothea shut her mouth tight.

“I thought it was strange that you were so intense about me being indirect, but it really is just projection, isn't it.” Claude walked back his statement. “I sound like an asshole saying it like that. I...” He looked at the sidewalk, walking over the cracks and lines with precision. “Same hat, I guess.”

“Memes, huh,” Dorothea muttered.

“El hates it too,” he said. “She pretends to, anyway, but I've seen her phone. She has jokes saved. I know she makes those jokes with Lysithea.”

“That's something I knew was bullshit, too,” Dorothea said.

“What? No, Lysithea is great. Honestly, if she wasn't engaged to Cyril, El might have had a chance, there, once.”

“No. You calling her El.” The two of them were forced to stop as a light turned green. “That means she's told you about her family, and that means she likes you enough to want to be called that. It made me so angry to hear you say that, and have her just. Smile like that was okay, and then to hear you act like there was nothing between the two of you. It's painfully obvious.”

“Like you and Petra?”

Dorothea considered walking into traffic. Unfortunately, the elation of seeing her again was too much to let her do so.

“Petra doesn't love me,” Dorothea said, halting and sad. “Sylvain apparently knows who. I can figure out everyone else. Just not. Her.”

“Yeah, because it's you,” Claude said.

“She's just nice to me because we've been friends for so long,” she murmured.

“You know what she talked about in the ride over? You. You and the tights you gave her and the fact that she'd never worn them but every time she saw them, she thought of you. Apparently, she would wear those under her pants while traveling, just to have something of you close.” Claude locked eyes with Dorothea. “I hate to say it, but you may be a useless lesbian, Dorothea.”

“That's... That's not-”

He cut her off. “Petra is horrifyingly in love with you. And honestly, you're even worse. When she kissed you on the cheek, she was trying to see if you'd let her kiss you on the mouth. The big time kiss.” Now, he grinned, just as the light flickered to let them cross. He dragged her across, almost skipping. “Your big crush is in love with you, and you aren't over yourself with joy? You can't believe it?”

The dawning realization could have made her heart break in two. Just the thought of how long she'd been alive, convincing herself to live loveless and alone on the border of the lives of all the women she'd ever loved. The worst thing about Edelgard was how she tended to fall a little in love with everyone. The worst thing about Dorothea was how she could fall irrevocably in love with so few women.

“Fine. Let's say you're right. Then how do you feel about it?” She pulled Claude closer to her, their slight different in height making it easier for her to push her face up against his in playful mocking. “A beautiful and confident woman is in love with you. Can you believe it?”

“It's less that I don't believe it,” he said. “More that I don't think she'd let it happen.”

“Oh?”

“I know you must be sort of jealous that it seems like we like each other so much. Here's the thing. Watching you and Petra, I could only think about how unfair it was that the two of you have such a confident thing. Such a strong and genuine love, where she can just talk about meal plans and you're starry eyed and positive about how much you love her. And then there's me and El, and we know these shitty messy things about each other. We've been arrested together on more than one occasion. She can make me laugh and beat me at go, but I beat her at chess, we argue and debate and try to push each other to grow, and we're still nowhere we should be.” For a time, he was quiet, and Dorothea allowed his words to settle. “I know she loves me. Or that she likes me.”

“She doesn't know she does,” Dorothea murmured.

“No,” he said. “She's decided she's never going to have a relationship. Whether she knows how she feels about me or anyone else isn't the issue. But I'm not going to push the matter on something I know is hard for both of us.”

“I'm sorry,” Dorothea said. “For what I said. I hadn't thought about it that way.”

“How could you? El's one of the smartest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, and also one of the most thick-headed jerks I've had the displeasure of dealing with. Your take isn't wrong. You're just working with what you had.” Though he spoke so confidently, there was a quiet sadness leaking into his movement.

“So why'd you agree to the blind date if you knew all that?” she asked.

“I thought maybe. She'd see me there, and then it'd fall into place. Or she'd indulge it, and I'd pretend I was indulging too, and.” Claude faked a laugh. “I don't like to let myself fantasize. Get's in the way of being happy, you know.”

“I understand.”

“If nothing else, you got something out of the date.” Claude took her hand and squeezed it. “Petra seriously deserves some happiness in her life, too. So, uh.” He looked as though he had more to say, but he stopped as they reached their destination.

“I could walk up with you,” Dorothea said. “I'd kind of like to apologize to Edie for my plan.”

“I'd appreciate it,” he said.

They took the elevator up to her floor. By this time of night, the building was mostly unoccupied, but Edelgard's office stood clear and lit among them all. While the floor had a few other rooms and workers associated with her start-up, it was still far smaller than the Hresvelg empire had ever been. Before she rejected it and before she was disowned. It meant Edelgard lost her home and any money she'd not squirreled away, but it had been one part of a long journey. If she ever healed – Dorothea looked at Claude, who seemed to be brightening up as they got closer.

He knocked first, and then Dorothea took a turn to knock out her own rhythmic hello. A panicked scuffle broke out inside, as Edelgard yelled, “Just a moment.”

They stared at each other.

“You wouldn't dare,” Dorothea whispered.

“You wouldn't, would you?” Claude asked.

The two of them opened the door to find Edelgard awkwardly struggling to pull on her dress coat, and Dorothea noted with some pride that she had unbuttoned one extra button from the previous look on her undershirt. It meant some of the old scars were visible with slightly lower neckline, surprising Dorothea at how she let it sit clear in view.

“Less buttons, Edie, that's just scandalous,” she said with a laugh. “I thought you said this was a business meeting.”

“Dorothea, I didn't expect-” Edelgard started.

“Yeah, I thought it was a business meeting, too,” Claude said. “Those ethics boards are gonna start digging around before we know it.”

“Claude!” she spat. “I'm not doing anything, I just thought -”

“I'm sorry, Edie,” Dorothea interrupted. “I'm joking. I am.”

Edelgard finished putting on her suit jacket and fixed one of the buttons of her shirt. “I did not mean for either of you to see me acting so foolish. I am the one who should apologize. I was being stupid and I let a whim get the best of me. Please think no more of it.”

“I wanted to apologize further for the blind date,” Dorothea went on. “I wanted to apologize for not giving you the truth. I apologize for setting you up in such a way. But I will not apologize for knowing that you are in love with Claude, you have been for quite a while now, and that he feels much the same for you.”

Though Claude flickered into muted panic at Dorothea's declaration, Edelgard looked at the two of them with a soft surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Did you know Petra is in love with me, Edie?” When Edelgard nodded, it made Dorothea wonder how many people had seen it when she had not. “I didn't know. I didn't even want to let myself love her, because I knew I'd be hurting myself. But I do. I think you are just like me, Edie. Even if you don't realize it, even if you don't let yourself, it's clear to everyone in the room because you're happy.” She gestured to the awkward way Edelgard sat on her desk. “You even came back here and tried to act a little more salacious, and tried to change your mind at the last minute.” When her friend tried to protest, Dorothea held up a hand. “I know you. Because I know myself, and I've lived with you for who knows how long.”

Edelgard took her time before responding. “I was happy when I saw you there, Claude. Horribly, miserably glad. For a moment, I held some notion I could enjoy having a night without chains, but I had to pull myself back. I did not think if I let myself take that step, that I would ever be able to step away.” She let herself laugh, as if playing a role. “Even here, I have my foolish whims. I do not expect to be taken seriously. I appreciate that Dorothea is so bold as to say what she did, but you do not have to stay or bother with this.” She nodded at Dorothea. “If it seems this is rude to you, I don't mean it to be. I appreciate that you try to be my champion in this way. I am sorry that I cannot deliver on what you have seen.”

“I only came because I heard you would be there,” Claude said.

Edelgard did not respond to that.

“We can have our meeting tonight. Sure. That's fine. But it kind of sucks hearing you ignore Dorothea spitting out my worst kept secret like we're at a ballgame and I'm supposed to be throwing the winning pitch. And you're at bat, but you won't take the hint.” Claude ran his fingers through his hair. “I get it if you can't date someone. I don't know if I can either. But at least don't reject the reality where I like you.” He laughed, harsh, and his face reddened with a terrible frustration. “Or maybe love? I don't fucking know, El. But don't ignore the truth.”

Dorothea edged away from the room. “I should probably step out.”

“It's alright,” Claude said. “Dorothea? Actually. Yeah. Thank you for setting this up, because I think this may have been killing me for a while now. Edelgard von Hresvelg. I'm challenging you right now. I would rather have you reject me point blank than just have you ignore the fact that I love you.”

“Claude, you don't need to be so dramatic.”

He threw off his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. “I will personally challenge every business you build and every charity you believe in and I will raise so much money and I will personally end world hunger before you have the chance to make a plan if you do not reject me right now.”

“Claude -”

He undid his fancy tie, loosened his collar and pulled out one of the buttons before kneeling in front of Edelgard. “Do you like me.”

She took her time before nodding.

“Do you like being business partners.”

To that, Edelgard easily nodded, sure and fast and confident.

“Do you love me,” Claude asked.

She tied back her hair from her face, wasting away the time, but he did not move. Serious and it almost made Dorothea want to laugh at the image alone. Finally, Edelgard said, “Claude von Riegan, I love you. Does that make you happy.”

Though he shook, he instead asked her another question. “Do you accept that I love you.”

That, she could not respond to.

“If you don't, I'll leave.” Edelgard's hand dropped down, and he gestured his out to her, as if waiting for her to take his hand. “I won't hold it against you. I understand. Fuck, do I understand, love it hard. Accepting that you could be hurt and accepting that you could be loved are even harder. But I don't want to be business partners if you can't at least accept that I love you. Reject me, accept me, either one is better than living like a ghost. I refuse to live a life that I am not happy with.”

“You're too good at this,” she muttered.

“What?”

Edelgard took his hand.

“Debating me.” Instead of letting him stand, Edelgard moved down to kneel on a knee as well. “I accept the truth of your feelings. However, I will do you one better.” Her other hand, she placed on his cheek. “I would ask you to allow me to kiss you.”

Dorothea slipped out of the room silently and let the door close with a quiet click before heading back down the elevator.

Terrible elation carrying her downstairs as she began to draft a new text to Petra.


End file.
